Clifford Chronicles

Clifford Christmas Letter - 2013 in Review

(Author~Chad Clifford)

Chad, bolder and fresher. 2013 was the year to step it up a notch in the intensive and severity of my accidents. A few years ago I snapped my ACL. Last year I rearranged my face with a surfboard. This year I definitely up’d the ante as I flipped my Jeep. After rear-ending a little girlie pint-sized BMW, my back-in-black military grade Jeep Wrangler beast was launched in the air and landed... not on its wheels.

The damage was extensive. My insurer used the word “totaled” several times. No Bueno... To everyone’s amazement, I walked away unharmed, without a scratch, wearing nothing but steel-toed boots and shredded jeans. Think Wolverine...

Turns out my beautiful assault Jeep vehicle was a visual betrayal. Even though it flew through the air and did something like 10 rolls, a normal Jeep should have held up without even a noticeable scratch or dent. Something was definitely wrong with that Jeep. My insurer, Allstate, just confirmed that my military grade Jeep was literally made by the military... in North Korea. Allstate was so upset with this Jeep counterfeit they held a news conference and they revealed the NTSB confirmed names of the 4 North Korean automobile engineers that were responsible for this fiasco as follows: Ting No Wuk, Ka Fala-Paht, Ho Lee Kap, Bang Ding Ow.

I just bought a new Jeep that is 100% duck dynasty, too-legit-to-quit, pure American. It’s pretty nasty! By the way, the engineers who oversaw the production of the new 2014 Jeep Wrangler are named Ryder, Gunner, and Axel.

Surf, golf, ski, hold varsity scout meetings each Thursday and throw in some work. That’s my well-established routine for the last seven years. However, 2013 brought a huge change. Now my routine is surf, golf, work and now early Bishopric meetings. Crazy as it seems, I was actually released from scouts after serving for 15 years and was made the executive secretary in our ward. They obviously need to keep a better and closer eye on me. Even though I was released from scouts, I felt like I couldn’t leave my scouts high and dry for the annual high adventure summer trip. So, I loaded up the RV and took the Varsity Scouts out on a week-long surf trip along the California coast from Pismo Beach to San Onofre. We surfed, we ate, and we surfed some more. That’s the way scouts should be!!

Michele, human resource director. This was her best year of cheer. She went from being a cheer coach to something more personal: the personal assistant to Miss Kate and Miss Emily. She’s in charge of hair and makeup and schedule coordination. With all of the high school games to cheer at and Emily’s cheer competitions, there is a huge need for organization. Michele loves it!

Michele continues to work at the San Diego Temple, on the school yearbook and volunteers in Andrew’s class. Michele also went to girls camp at Catalina Island with Kate and the young women. It’s tough being in young womens in San Diego...

This year didn't come without trials. Michele’s father passed away on June 13th of this year with all of his family at his side. His heart had given him so much trouble over the years and it simply gave out. It’s ironic because her dad had the sweetest, biggest and most generous heart on this earth. He persevered through it all sporting a smile. He will always be remembered and truly honored.

Michele gave the eulogy at his funeral. Very emotionally difficult but it was a chance to celebrate her father’s life. Michele’s mom was diagnosed with cancer this year. Her mom is just as wonderful as her dad. She has such a great outlook and a smile on her face as she battles cancer. Michele spends time with her and helps take her to doctor’s appointments and to chemotherapy. We have faith that 2014 will be a better year on the health front! Good thing we have Obamacare to save us!

There is some good news on the health front. Michele got laser eye surgery... again. It’s been 17 years since the last “fix” and her eye sight is much better. No more walking into brick walls. No more grabbing the wrong shopping cart at Costco or walking the wrong kid to school. Hey, she can actually see the road when she drives, even at night! It’s a huge relief to all drivers throughout San Diego.

Kate, 15, knows everything, perfect smile as of 14 days ago. Kate is no longer classified as a brace-face. It only took a 34 month stretch to get those choppers straightened out. I’m a little surprised it didn’t take 34 years with the snaggle of teeth she started out with. Her smile is now absolutely brilliant. Be sure to ask her to smile for you and show off her million watt grin; she’ll love it! With the braces off, the boys are forming a lottery system to see who gets dibs to ask her out first. I bought a backhoe and I’m preparing to build a mote around the house to ward off the steady stream of soon-to-be suitors. I also put up a huge sign that reads, “Beware of dad. He’s not afraid to go to jail... again.”

2013 brought graduation from middle school and a move up to San Marcos High School, the home of the fighting Knights. The fighting Knights have a secret weapon, their wildly enthusiastic cheerleader - Kate! She knows how to get the crowd rocking! High school also brings early morning seminary. She really likes seminary and we are so proud of her for going. We don’t even have to bribe her! Kate is a great student and she is acing her classes! We credit Kate’s academic achievements to hard work and her new glasses. It’s amazing how much you can learn when you can read the white board in school. Kate shed the braces but acquired her school glasses and she looks smashing in her new specs.

Kate also had the opportunity to go to Washington DC with a select group of classmates during spring break. It was a wonderful chance for Kate to learn so much about our nation’s history and get to have so much fun... without her parents. She loved the independence and the chance to hang out with her friends. Kate also went to EFY in Provo. That was a special experience to spend a week with her cousin Maddie and get spiritually fed... and to meet boys, and go to dances, and meet boys. Oy Vey!

Emily, 12, sassy and sparkling. Emily isn’t only on the California All Star Cheer squad, she is “THE” California All Star. You’ll count yourself lucky and extremely blessed if you have watched Emily perform her cheer routine. The urban dictionary has an apt term for Emily and it is called “working it”.

Her spirit and enthusiasm is incredible. Emily has been traveling all over performing with her CA cheer squad. She just went to Las Vegas and her team took first place and she will be performing in March in Dallas, TX, the mecca for all things cheer and big hair. Their team motto is “Hair can never be too big!”

Emily is playing the flute in the middle school orchestra and piano. She is a great student and she loves school, especially the social aspect. Emily had the chance to go to BYU cheer camp this year at BYU. She was too young for the advanced level but she was able to “squeeze” in. She stayed at the dorms and made some great friends. It was her first week without mom and dad. She really loved the camp and wants to go back next year.

2013 was the year that Emily “finally” got to go into young womens. She has been ready to turn 12 for the last two years and she is enjoying it so much. Her 12th birthday party was pretty wild. She invited about 15 of her closest friends to dress up in 50’s style clothes and go down and eat at the Corvette Diner in San Diego. They loved the limo ride and they looked great in their poodle shirts and horn-rimmed glasses.

Andrew, 7, great hair, sportsman. What can I say about Andrew? He’s into ALL the sports. He played his first year of basketball, baseball and flag football. The great thing about Andrew is that he likes to compete and he’s not afraid of contact.

When playing basketball, he has no problem getting a few offensive fouls (actually no fouls are ever called) in order to drive to the basket. Football was so fun for Andrew because he got to legally block, push and hit someone. His team was really good!

As reported in prior years, Andrew is quite the hip-hop artist. I say artist because Andrew loves to “freestyle” and his moves are “fly”. He had a performance in front of millions of people and Andrew was front and center in his group. He threw down and got his swerve on while busting his jam.

Andrew is a brilliant student. He’s busting the curve already in the second grade. He is like his dad and he loves math. In church, Andrew likes to have me test him on his math skills. It makes me so proud to see Andrew get his geek on. I love it. Andrew was also the first to be voted student of the month by his peers. Andrew likes the social aspect of school and it shows! Like Kate, Andrew had found that he couldn’t see the white board at school and he got himself some sweet glasses. He is both scholarly and handsome without even trying. Andrew is obsessed with the Rainbow Loom. His mom bought him a loom and he quickly became a self-taught expert. Turns out YouTube is quite the instructional hub for Rainbow loomers. He was able to navigate YouTube and learn many styles and patterns.

The Clifford family had its usual frolic of fun at Disneyland, Universal Studios, Magic Mountain, beach outings, RVing in Palm Springs, going to baseball’s spring training in Arizona, and trips to Utah. We made some great memories this year and hope to make many more in 2014. This Christmas, we all went on a cruise in the western Caribbean. We had our fun in the sun and ate ourselves into the ground!

Love, The Cliffords!

Universal Studios